


Evil Genius

by SmartassUndertheMountain



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, A little angst, Dancing, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Happy Ending, Skinny!Steve, heavy making out in the last chapter, pre-serum steve, protective older brother Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6719014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartassUndertheMountain/pseuds/SmartassUndertheMountain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before Bucky leaves for basic training he convinces you, his little sister, and Steve to have a night out on the town; neither of you are very happy about being dragged out to a dance hall. You decide to play a little prank, but it doesn't quite end the way you thought it would.</p><p>Now you and Steve are experiencing the world in a way you never thought you would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pranks and Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> To avoid any confusion - This is the night before Bucky leave for basic training, not deployment, so this would have happened at least 2/3 months before Bucky deployed and Steve met Dr. Erskine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before Bucky leaves for basic training he convinces you, his little sister, and Steve to have a night out on the town; neither of you are very happy about being dragged out to a dance hall. You decide to play a little prank, but it doesn't quite the way you thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid any confusion - This is the night before Bucky leave for basic training, not deployment, so this would have happened at least 2/3 months before Bucky deployed and Steve met Dr. Erskine.

         “Come on, Y/N. Please?”

         “Did you just say ‘please?’ You must be desperate.”

         “But he hates being the third wheel, and he really needs to get out of his apartment. Say you’ll go? You won’t even have to dance.”

         “Bucky, I love ya, and not just because I have to, but my bunny slippers and I have a hot date with that book Maria lent me. I don’t want to get all dressed up on my night off.”

         “Yeah, but you want to see Steve.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I know you like him.”

         It had been an on going joke that you would all three either end up unmarried and living together, or you and Steve would marry in order to share custody of Bucky. You always refuted, saying that ‘no, I’ll sell him to you for a nickel, Steve. No shared custody necessary.’ But your brother loved to tease you about the way you blushed when Steve would say ‘I’d rather share him with you than you not be there.’

         “Of course I do. He’s the brother I never had.”

         “Hey! Are you forgetting we’re related?”

         “No, but he’s nicer to me than my own blood is.”

         “Mhm. Whatever. Come out with us tonight. It’s my last night before I leave for training. Go out with me and Steve? He won’t go if I show up with just one girl.”

         You sighed. Of course he would use his recent enlistment against you. You were just happy that he had to go through all his training before he could get shipped off. Maybe he’d even break his toe or something and be sent back to you. You felt bad thinking like that, but better that than him not come back at all.

         “Fine. I’ll go get ready.”

         “Thank you, my dear, sweet sister.” He placed a kiss on your cheek as you turned to walk away.

         “Yeah, yeah.”

 

         “Karen?” You whispered harshly to your brother as you approached the corner where everyone was supposed to meet. “Your date is Karen? Why? Do you hate me?”

         “She’s cute.”

         “Not a good enough reason to go out with my coworker! She’s going to make my life miserable for this. All I’ve been hearing about is how she wants to get her hands on you; now I’m going to have to hear about the aftermath. No girl needs to hear that about her brother.”

         “Play nice.” His order oozed with big-brother authority, but you didn’t miss the undertone of of ‘please don’t mess this up for me.’

         “Karen!” You smiled broadly and and embraced her with all the awkwardness of two people who were only friendly because they have to be.

         “Y/N! I’m so excited that your brother convinced you to come out with the two of us!”

         “”Three of us, Steve’s coming, too.” Bucky said with a smile and a wink thrown in your direction.

         “And he’s here.” Steve said, appearing at Bucky’s side.

         “Steve!” Bucky put his arm around his friend. Karen looked at you and rolled her eyes with a playful smile, mouthing ‘boys.’ You smiled back, but you weren’t really sure if she wished she’d gotten that greeting, or if she didn’t realize how close those two were.

         “Shall we?” Bucky held out his arm for Karen and led the way to his favourite dance hall a few blocks down. You walked next to Steve, who escorted you politely, as usual.

         “So, did his date for me fall through again?”

         “Maybe I was your set up the whole time.”

         “Y/N.” His look told you to cut the crap. “We both know you hate coming out as much as I do. What did he do to convince you if it wasn’t the ‘don’t let Steve sit by himself all night’ trick?”

         “I don’t fall for that one anymore, thank you very much. He used the ‘this is my last night as a civilian’ argument. Very effective.”

         “Yeah, he got me with that one, too.”

         “He’s so annoying.” You scrunched your face and stuck your tongue out that the back of the brother’s head. Very unladylike, your mother would have told you, but at least Steve laughed. The couple in front of you looked back to see what had two grown “adults” giggling like children, but you both pulled the innocent look, which didn’t work, but at least you tried.

         “Alright, time to act like your mama’s raised you. We’re here, and you’re going to behave.” Bucky announced as he held the door open before rejoining Karen at the front of the group. Steve hung back with you.

         “Maybe we should get him back.”

         “Steven Rogers would get revenge against James Barnes? I’d love to see the day.”

         “Come on, he’s always making us go on his dates with him. Let’s make him think that we’re, uh, hitting it off.” His voice dropped as Bucky signaled you into a booth. Steve let you slip in first. You smiled at him as he sat down and moved to whisper in his ear.

         “You are an evil genius. I didn’t know you had it in you.” As you pulled back you saw Bucky glance at Steve, an eyebrow raised, head cocked ever so slightly to the side. Steve just shrugged back.

 

         Bucky had been eyeing you and Steve from the dance floor, not that either of you had noticed. For your plan to work you had to actually act like you were falling for each other. Well, Steve had to act, you just had to keep your head on straight. Honestly not very much was different from your usual behaviour towards each other. You sat a little closer, giggled a little more “flirtatiously” - head ducked, mouth covered, eyes systematically glancing between your lap and Steve’s face, and the occasional arm-touch, a delicate hand placed on his arm or shoulder when he said something particularly funny or sweet. Steve squared his shoulders a bit more, threw a charming smile in your direction, one you rarely saw when he was out with Bucky on a double date, and would periodically brush his knuckles or fingers against the back of your hand or the inside of your wrist, what he’d seen Bucky do when he was interested in a girl.

         “Bucky, careful. Watch where you’re going or you’re going to step on me!” Karen fussed.

         “I’d never step on you, Karen.” He smiled and let the smooth charm flow forth to placate his date. He wanted to keep dancing, but he needed answers, and he couldn't get them from a distance.  He had to get off the dance floor. “But for your peace of mind, let’s sit out a few songs, and we’ll come back out after a break, make sure I’m at the top of my game.” He winked to seal it.

         “Alright hot-stuff. A quick break.” She smiled at him, and he knew she thought it was seductive. And she wasn’t wrong.

 

         “Oh, I think they’re coming back over.”

         “Shit, I didn’t think this far ahead.”

         “Think he saw?”

         “Oh come on, he was dancing with Karen, of course he saw. He was probably trying to signal for help when he spotted us.”

         “Y/N,” Steve tried to have a strict tone, “that’s awful.”

         You looked at him, not bothering to hide your pleased grin when you saw the bright gleam that screamed ‘I shouldn’t find that funny, my mother raised me better,’ shinning in his eyes. “Yes, but you’re trying not to laugh.”

         “What’s this guy trying not to laugh at?” Bucky let Karen slide into the booth before he joined her, sitting across from you.

         “Just something I said to a guy who tried to pinch my bottom the other day.” That was a great story that you had meant to tell the boys the night before, but had decided against it when Bucky told you Steve had gotten into another fight.

         “What?”

         “Relax, Buck. I told him off, and he ran away with his tail between his legs.” Oh no, not protective older brother mode. You did not want to deal that at the moment.

         “Where did this happen?”

         “Oh, does it matter? It’s New York. Forget about it.” You were almost grateful for Karen’s interjection. “Did you see us dancing?” And a change of subject? Maybe it wasn't Karen the Coworker, maybe it was Karen the Lifesaver...

         “Can’t say we did. Y/N’s been telling some good stories. It’s hard to pay attention to anything else.” Steve smiled at you in a way he hadn’t before. His eyes held yours and you found it difficult to look away, even though you could feel your face getting warmer.

         “Ah, he’s just being polite. He’s the real entertainment of the night. I don’t know why you say he isn’t funny, B. He’s had me near busting a gut.”

         “Okay, alright, what’s with you two?”

         “What?” You fought to hold back your giggle when you heard Steve’s voice in unison with yours, but where your’s feigned ignorance, his sounded defensive.

         “I think they should dance, if they’re that in-sync. Don’t you, Buck?”

         Bucky smiled. Maybe Karen wasn’t so bad. “Yeah, I think they should. Come on. Join us for another dance.”

         That stupid “I’ve got you now” smirk was spread all over that cocky face of his and you exchanged a panicked glance with Steve. You could dance, but you didn’t particularly enjoy doing it in public. In the living room to the radio? Fine. In a dance hall? Not fine.

         “Only if it’s slow. Y/N’s been on her feet all day, she deserves to get to rest a bit.” Steve was surprised by how smooth and confident his voice sounded to his own ears. He could feel your gaze on him and when he turned to look at you he saw admiration. He knew he’d just saved you both from having to dance, but did it really warrant that?

         “You’re so thoughtful.” She cooed at him, and he smiled as Karen dragged Bucky back to the dance floor.

         He noticed the way she glanced quickly to make sure her brother was distracted before turning back to him, leaning in awfully close. He blinked and there was a soft wet feeling against his cheek and you were back in his vision again. He looked at you carefully, your face still showed that happiness, but there was a hit of seriousness about the way your brow tightened slightly. He was just trying to get his head out of the clouds over the fact that you had just kissed him.

         “Seriously, Steve, you’re my hero. I hate dancing in public.”

         “I thought you were good when you showed me.”

         “That was in the living room, with no one else around. In public, around strangers, it’s different.”

         “We can always go back if you’re feeling tired or something?” You could hear how hopeful his voice sounded, and couldn’t hold back your sigh.

         “No, we promised Bucky we’d spend the evening with him. He leaves for Basic early in the morning, so we won’t be out too much longer.”

         “And if we have to dance?”

         “You remember what we practiced?”

         “Yes.”

         “Then we’ll be fine.”

 

         Bucky tapped on your shoulder, and beckoned you over to the corner where the music wasn’t so loud.

         “I only got a minute ‘cause Karen’s powdering her nose. What’s going on with you and Steve?”

         “We’re enjoying our evening like you wanted us to? Talking, laughing, literally what we do every time you drag us on one of your dates so it seems more casual - don’t think I don’t know that’s what you do. Steve knows it, too.”

         “That’s beside the point. Why are you two all cuddled up?”

         “We aren’t.” You almost rolled your eyes, barely keeping yourself in check and keeping eye contact.

         “Then why do you keep touching his arm? And why does he keep caressing your wrist?”

         “Caressing?" You failed to fight back a laugh. "I think I’d know if I was being caressed, James.”

         “Don’t start with me, Y/N.”

         “What are you gunna do, James Buchanan?”

         “Watch me.” He turned sharply and marched over to the band leader, who was on pause between songs.

         You hurried back over to Steve, announcing your arrival with “I think we’re in trouble. I antagonized Bucky and I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s requesting a slow song.”

         Steve’s head jerked up and his eyes grew wider as you spoke. You’d seen Steve get into fights; you’d seen him after fights; you’d seen him when he was about to lie to the government so he could get into the army, but never had you seen a look of pure fear on that boy’s face until that moment.

         “Please tell me you aren’t serious?” You slipped into the booth next to him.

         “He was asking me about ‘what’s going on between you and Steve,’ and why we were all ‘cuddled up,’ and so I gave the typical sister responses, might’ve thrown his given name around a little, told him that we knew we were just props to make his dates seem more casual and then bam! He’s walking off and talking to the band leader.”

         “We’re doomed.” He face palmed and you let your head fall back against the back of the booth.

 

         You were positioned on the dance floor, eye-level with Steve, who was very awkwardly holding your right hand in his left, and your waist in his right. Your arm rested stiffly on his shoulder. The next song was about to start, and if you could make it through a simple foxtrot without anything bad happening, then you would consider it a success. “Sorry I can’t control myself and kind of got us into this.”

         The music began and Steve smiled, trying to reassure you (or maybe himself) that this was all going to be fine. He began leading you through the steps. He muttered beneath his breath as he moved “Back, left, forward, right-as-you-turn, repeat.” Hearing him almost threw you off, because he was moving the opposite of you, but he still lead you correctly, and smoothly, so you had no complaints.

         A few times through the moves and you were moving together very well. Your hand rested naturally on his shoulder, fingers playing gently with the fabric of his shirt, and the hand that rested on your waist held you firmly, but gently, just as it should.

         “You don’t have to be sorry.” You had been so focused on dancing you almost missed his soft spoken words.

         “What? Why? I thought you didn’t like dancing?”

         “It’s not so bad when I get to dance with someone so lovely.”

         “You’ve been taking lessons on sweet-talk from my brother, I see.” Playful banter you could do, genuine compliments from Steve, you could not. How could you even respond seriously to something so jaw-achingly sweet?

         “I’m serious, Y/N. I wouldn’t be out on the dance floor with anyone else.” He smiled shyly up at you and you smiled back.

         “I wouldn’t be either. And I wouldn’t have had this much fun getting in this much trouble with Mr. Bigshot over there for anyone else either.”

         “Think it’ll be bad?”

         “I called him ‘James’ and ‘James Buchanan’ in back-to-back sentences. If he wasn’t leaving in the morning, I’d be looking at the snarky comments for a week.”

         “So not much different than normal?”

         You laughed and shook your head. “Shut up and dance, Steven Grant.”

         He grinned at you and his grip tightened ever so slightly, pulling you the tiniest bit closer. That alone made you fight the blush threatening to creep up your neck. The song reached it’s high, and you knew there wouldn’t much left to it before you could escape the dance floor, and Bucky and Karen’s watchful eyes.

         “If I wanted to spin you, how would I do that?” There was a shyness to Steve’s voice that told you he wished he hadn’t had to ask you that, but it wasn’t like spinning had been something you wanted to tackle the first time you showed him how to dance in his living room with Bucky and his mother watching.

         “Instead of turning after you step forward, let go of my waist, and hold our hands above my head. I’ll twirl, and when I’m facing you again, put your hand back on my waist, and start where we left off.”

         “Sounds straightforward.”

         You moved with Steve, making the opposite steps that he made, forward, right, back, and his hand left your back as he held the other above your heads. You spun around and came face to face with Steve again, but closer. Had you done that, or had he done that? His hand held your waist again, but wasn’t that a little tighter than he had been? Your fingers were not intertwined pre-spin, but they were now, and there was certainly no way that you had had your hand on the back of his neck before that, but at this distance (or lack thereof) it felt more natural than on his shoulder.

         Another box and the song hit its last note. You both moved to stop, Steve’s hand releasing your waist, but as you moved to step back it reapplied pressure, and you ended up leaned slightly back in a shallow dip. After the initial shock and fear of falling, you realized that Steve Rogers was dipping you, and a goofy grin spread over your face. He pulled you back up and smiled, pride shining through, despite his best effort. You accepted the arm he offered you and let him escort you off the dance floor.

         “Steve Rogers, you just dipped me.” You were smiling brightly and giggling a little bit.

         “Well, ah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I aim to please?”

         “You punk!” Your brother pulled Steve away with a congratulatory slap on the back. ”I didn’t know you could do that? When did you learn spins and dips? Last I saw you were just getting the hang of the box step.”

         “I’m full of surprises, jerk.”

         Karen eyed you carefully with a knowing smile. “So how long have you and Steve been an item?” She asked, her voice hushed so the boys couldn’t hear.

         “We aren’t.”

         “Look, I can tell you don’t want Bucky to know, and I can respect that. My brother wouldn’t love it if I was dating his best friend, either, but just give me a number?”

         “I’m serious. All the girls from work would know if I had a guy in my life.”

         “You really aren’t together?” A twinge of disbelief still swam in her eyes, but she knew to trust you. When you shook your head she shrugged. “Had me fooled. You look cute together.”

         “Thanks, I think.”

         “Just don’t rule it out. You never know.” She smiled and gave your hand a squeeze. Maybe you’d been too hard on Karen. Sure, she was kind of annoying, but she was really observant, and she seemed to care, or at least was genuinely interested. You’d have to put in more of an effort to really get to know her.

        

         The cool night air washed over your group in a refreshing burst as you walked out of the sweaty dance hall. The four of you walked down the street side-by-side, a feat only accomplished because of the late hour on a weeknight, when every normal person was in for the night and turning out their lights. With Karen on Bucky’s arm and you on Steve’s, you walked the first three blocks together, before Bucky split to make sure Karen made it home safely.

         “And get one last kiss in before being around nothing but men for a couple months.” You mumbled to Steve once they were out of earshot. He chuckled, and let you snuggle a little closer to his side. He knew how much you disliked being out at night. ‘All the creepy men come out in droves,’ you had told him once.

         “Don’t tell your brother, but I enjoyed tonight. It was fun.”

         “It was, wasn’t it? Hard to believe, huh? We enjoyed a night at a dance hall.”

         “Well, I mostly enjoyed dancing with you.” As he watched your face for a reaction, he was met with knitted brows and a slightly parted mouth - a very cute slightly parted mouth - No! Not the focus, here, Steve.

         He tried to ushered you up the stairs that led to your apartment, but you refused to move. “What do you mean?”

         “I just mean that, um, dancing with you was the highlight of my night. It’s not often a dame - gal - girl - uh, lady, wants to dance with a guy like me.”

         “Sweet, charming, cute?”

         “What?”

         “Is that what you mean by ’a guy like me?’ Because I wouldn’t want to dance with a guy who was anything else.”

         “Y/N, you know what I mean.”

         You let your eyes fall closed as you let out a sigh and sunk down to sit on the steps. You patted the step next to you and Steve obliged, sitting on your right, it wasn’t like he’d be going home tonight anyway. He was staying so he and Bucky could have as much time together as possible, that’s what you said, at least. You didn’t like the thought of him walking home alone at night with all those creepy men crawling about in the shadows. The stairs were narrow enough that your right side brushed against his left side as you sat together, looking up at a sky mostly obscured by buildings.

         “Steve, I know you think you’re just being realistic when you make comments like that about yourself, but you aren’t. I don’t think you see you the way I see you and it hurts me. It hurts me that you don’t credit yourself with how wonderful you are - a gentleman, thoughtful, considerate, and you only want what’s right. You’re brave, almost stupidly so - don’t argue with me, picking fights with people bigger than you, while for the right reasons, is a little stupid when you know the outcome, but my point is that you’re brave, and strong-willed, and you care so much. That’s what women find attractive, that’s what women always want their guy to be, so don’t you say that women don’t want men like you, because you are exactly what every woman wants, the straight ones, that is.”

         “Y/N, thank you, but - “

         “No ‘buts,’ Steven Grant Rogers. I’m a woman, I know what I’m talking about, and I’m not through.” He smiled and held his hands up in surrender and let you continue. “Now, I know you’re about to make that tired old ‘most girls don’t want a guy they’ll step on’ argument. We’ve heard it, we’re throwing it out of the court room. Stevie, you’re cute. You’ve got beautiful eyes, and the longest dark eyelashes, and your smile lights up any room. You carry yourself like you’ve got nothing to lose, and anyone would love to play with that head of hair. So stop. Stop trying to sell yourself short.” You reached over and took his hand between yours. “Stop trying to tell me, Bucky, yourself, and anyone else that you aren’t what women want, that you aren’t what they find attractive, because one, you’re dead wrong, and two, I’m a woman, in the flesh, proving you wrong.”

         “What was number two?”

         “You’re dead wrong?” Damn, your voice was shakey, and you knew he’d caught what you said.

         “No, that was number one.”

         “You sure?” You let go of his hands and made a show of ‘thinking’ about what you had just said, pretending to count out he points you had made on your fingers.

         “I’m slightly hard of hearing in my _right_ ear, not my left, I heard you clearly. You said you were proving me wrong?”

         You looked at him. His eyes were trained on you, like he could get you to talk just by pulling that sad puppy face look, and he could. It killed you that he knew he could use that against you, but at least you knew that, in the right circumstances, you could get him with it, too.

         “I like you, Steve, and not like a woman usually likes her brother’s best friend. Not like how a woman usually likes any of her friends.”

         “You like me?”

         “Is that so weird?” Tears were pricking the back of your eyes, threatening to flood your eyesight; you had to coach yourself to keep it together. _Nope. Not going to cry in front of him. You’re stronger than this, you are going to hold your head high and deal with it._

         “No, I just…“ He looked down and twiddled his thumbs, squeezing his eyes shut.

         “Look, you don’t like me the same way, that’s fine. Just forget I said anything, and we can go back to normal.”

         “No, Y/N. No. Not normal. I just didn’t think you’d like me like that. I’ve never had anyone like me back before.”

         “ _You_ like _me_?”

         “Of course I do. What’s not to like?”

         “Besides the fact that she’s my sister?”

         You both jumped to your feet at the sound of Bucky’s voice coming from the darkness, in the general direction of the corner where everyone put their ‘give away’ trash - too good to be thrown out, but not good enough to be kept.

         “There he is! We were wondering how long your goodnight kiss would last.”

         “It certainly wasn't too short." He smirked and put his hands in his pockets. "Don’t change the subject, Y/N. I knew _something_ was up with you two. Didn't figure it was this, though. Thought all that stuff in the dance hall was for show.”

         “Well, at first we were just messing with you - you deserved it for dragging me out on my night in.”

         “And how about you, Steve?”

         He nodded. “Up until the dance.”

         “Karen said she thought you had a thing going behind my back. 'Two people who aren’t dating don’t dance like that.’ But I thought, no. Neither of you would have the guts to finally confess that you like each other and NOT tell me about it. I would’ve the story from both of you. Multiple times.”

         “What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve had his hands in his pockets, eyes narrowing at his friend.

         “You’re a brave punk when it comes to guys twice your size, but you can barely speak to women, Steve. It’s a fair statement.” Steve nodded, there was truth to that. “And you,” he turned “you just don’t know how to talk to about your feelings. Period.” You shrugged, he had a point. “Now come on. We’re going upstairs and we’re going to eat ice cream, and I’m going to sit in between you two on the couch while you convince me why I should let you,” he slung an arm around Steve’s shoulders, “date my sister, and why I should let you,” he put his other arm around your shoulders, “date my best friend.”

         “Or Steve and I could just go to his place…”

         “Y/N!” Bucky admonished you, eyes wide in shock, eyebrows narrowing. Both men looked appalled at your suggestion.

         “Relax, it was a joke. You should both know me better than that, geez.”

         “Okay, no more jokes like that if you two are going to be a thing - which I haven’t made my ruling on yet.”

         “Good thing he’s leaving tomorrow.” Steve leaned back to stage whisper and winked at you, which went flutters through your stomach that made you giggle.

         “One more word, punk, and I’ll say I have to stay behind to protect my baby sister.”


	2. Learning to be Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's gone to Basic Training, you and Steve are learning about your relationship, and the things you have to deal with and get to do together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Basic Training is currently close to 15/16 weeks, but I’ve read in a few (not totally academically reliable) sources that in WWII Basic lasted around ten weeks, so I’m going to spilt the difference at 12 weeks, plus a week for travel.
> 
> I’m using the comic book 1918 D.O.B. for Steve, because googled to make sure the date was right, and apparently in the MCU it got changed to 1920 - according to google. But yeah, I’m using what google told me - so if dates are wrong, that’s why (also, the year is 1941, according to google, because it's been too long since I've seen CA:TFA).
> 
> A couple sentence prompts gave me inspiration for Week Ten, can be found http://the-smartass-under-the-mountain.tumblr.com/post/132054595476/comforting-edition-sentence-starters

**Week One**

         You heard grunting coming from around the corner. At this time of night you should have just left it alone and gone on your way. Interrupting whatever was happening, be it a mugging or a rendezvous, was probably not a wise idea. Then you heard it.

         “Had enough yet?” The voice sounded malicious and you desperately wanted to sprint away, but the next, much more wheezy voice stopped you.

         “I could do this all night.”

         “Damnit, Steve.” Your muttered chastisement wasn’t heard, nor was your approach. The street lamp barely illuminated the alley and gave an uncomfortable eerie shadow effect to everything. You could still well enough to see the big jock-looking guy land another punch and cringe as Steve stumbled back.

         “Hey, why don’t you pick a fight with a Nazi, instead of a fellow patriot?” Not the same approach that Bucky usually took, but you couldn’t exactly punch this guy out, not in your work clothes, at least.

         “Get lost.”

         “Hmmm,” you pretended to think, “no. Come on, Steve. Let’s go home. It’s been a long day and I wanna cuddle with you.”

         The big guy looked back at Steve before looking you up and down. “You’re with this little twig? Why don’t you wanna be with a real man, doll face? You scared?”

         “Don’t you dare talk to her like that.” Steve sounded tired, despite the fire in his voice. Time to finish this and go home. You really did want to cuddle with him after the day you’d had.

         “Why would I want what I already have? And why would I be scared of a jackass like you?”

         “You’re mouthy. I kinda like that.” He made a step toward you and you remembered what Karen had taught you a few days back about self-defence. Let them get close, then get them in the legs. ‘Men are top-heavy. They go down like a sack of bricks.’ He reached for you and you grabbed his arm, pulling him in closer. He stumbled and you shoved your foot into his knee. There was a definite cracking noise, and he did indeed go down, but you thought it more resembled a tree falling than a sack of bricks. You kicked him in the face for good measure before grabbing Steve’s hand and yelling “Run!”

         He took off with you, legs hitting the sidewalk hard. He tugged you in the direction of his apartment since it was a lot closer. A block later and you turned, allowing yourselves to slow down to a brisk walk until you reached the stairs to his apartment.

         “You okay?” You panted a little more than you liked. Maybe you should exercise a bit if you were going to be taking Bucky’s place in pulling Steve out of fights.

         “Yeah. You didn’t need to do that. I could have handled it. I _was_ handling it.”

         You heard the edge in his voice, and noticed how abrupt his actions were as he led you into his apartment.

         “What’s wrong with me stepping in like that?”

         “I’m supposed to protect you, Y/N! I promised Bucky I would. You can’t get hurt trying to protect me.”

         “And I won’t let you get hurt just because you’re stupid enough to pick fights with guys twice your size!”

         “Size doesn’t scare me, Y/N. A bully is a bully. Period.”

         “I know, Steve. I just don’t like seeing you get hurt. I saw that last hit he landed, and I - I don’t know. I saw red. For the record, I tried to break it up without having to hit anyone. Bucky would have just tapped the guy’s shoulder and punched him out. I at least waited for him to make the first move.”

         “You could have gotten hurt.” He plopped down onto his couch and you sat next to him, examining the bruise surfacing on his cheek bone, the split in lip, and the small trickle of blood running down from his nose.

         “You could have been hurt worse.” You’re voice was barely above a whisper.

         The fight was gone from your voice. His shoulders sagged a little bit at how sad you sounded. He looked at you. The only time you’d seen his eyes so full of sadness was at his mother’s funeral a couple years back.

         “I’ll make you a deal, I won’t physically step between you and whatever bully you’ve picked a fight with, if you promise me that One - you’ll think carefully if it’s a fight you really want to pick, and Two - that you’ll walk away with me if I speak up. Can you agree to that?”

         “Yeah, that’s fair enough.”

         “I also reserve the right to enlist the help of passerbys if I think the situation is beyond my or your control.”

         “Only in extreme circumstances.”

         “Agreed.”

         “Should we shake on it?”

         “How about we seal it with a kiss?”

         He smiled, a faint pink tinting his pale cheeks. “You sure?”

         “Absolutely.” You smiled back and leaned towards him, your head tilting slightly to the right. He mirrored you, keeping his head straight to avoid bumping your nose. Just before your eyes closed, you noticed that his already were, and his dark eyelashes stood out against his cheek. It made your heart skip a beat before you pressed your lips against his.

         He heard you inhale sharply once you made contact. His right hand lifted to rest on your cheek. It felt hot to the touch. His left hand moved gently along your arm, till he cradled your elbow, urging it toward his body. You took the hint and placed your hand on his side, your left coming up to rest on his shoulder.

         It didn’t surprise you that Steve’s lips were soft, and plump, and wonderful to kiss; what did surprise you was the way he pulled back less than an inch before surging forward and kissing you harder than before. He sucked your lower lip between his for just a moment before breaking and kissing the right corner of your mouth, your cheek, and the corner of your jaw. His nose skimmed you jawline as he retreated back to look at you.

         He smiled brightly when he saw your eyes were blown wide and your cheeks were flushed. The thing he loved most was the way you bit your lip and glanced down at your lap before looking back up at him and whispering, almost so softly that his bad hearing didn’t catch it, “will you do that again?”

 

 

**Week Four (and a half)**

         You and Steve were walking around the park close to your apartment. It was small, but it was green, and Steve thought you needed to see some nature to brighten your spirits. He held your hand and swung it gently between you as you walked. He had grown comfortable in a different way around you since Bucky had left for training and you had started dating. Not that he wasn’t comfortable before, but it was different. He sketched more in front of you, for one thing, and showed you some of what he drew - he never did that before, and he knew how much it meant to you that he had opened up about that.

         You let your boyfriend pull you over to a bench under a tree. You pressed your side against his and smiled when he pressed back. You hadn’t actually spoken much that day. Your usual greeting, then him asking you to take a walk with him. Normally one of you was going on and on about whatever came to mind, because you liked talking to each other. Now you realized just how companionable the silence was. You leaned your head back and enjoyed feeling the warm sun, Steve’s pressed against yours, and your hand holding his.

         “Y/N?”

         “Hmmm?”

         “Would you, um, would you mind if I sketched you?”

         You sat back up and looked at the blonde beside you. “You want to?”         

         “Yeah. I’ve wanted to for a while, actually, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it.”

         The smile on your face had to be a goofy grin, you were sure of it. Giggling, you nodded. “I’d be honoured if you sketched me, Steve.”

         “Yeah?”

         “Yeah.”

         Steve was always surprising you. Right then and there he pulled out a little notebook and a pen. “Okay, um, would you just sort of, sit casually?”

         “Like this?” You put your arm on the back of the bench and let your legs stick out in front of you, crossed at the ankles.

         “Yeah, but could you turn your head towards me?”

         You obliged and smiled as you saw him already at work. The floppy hair of his bangs hanging down in front of his face, making him push it back even so often. He glanced up often to make sure his lines resembled your body. While he was studying you, you studied him. It wasn’t often that you got to just sit and look at your boyfriend without him thinking you were staring because there was something on his face, so you took advantage of the opportunity. His white shirt was a little baggy on him, but most of his clothes were a little bit. It was Saturday, so he’d forgone a tie and had his top button undone. His brow had a little furrow from concentration and it was incredibly endearing. His hands looked delicate, but they made confident strokes on the paper. Normally his shoulders were squared - his mother had been big on having good posture, but now they were hunched slightly as he bent over the page. You could see how his jaw was set, another mark of concentration, but when he looked up at you, it all relaxed for just a moment, before he glanced back down at his work.

         “Am I going to get to see the masterpiece that you make of me?”

         “Well, you look in a mirror every morning, don’t you?”

         You smiled widely and your mouth dropped open, a breathy laugh escaped before you could stop it. It took everything in you to keep your position. “Steven Grant, that was the smoothest line you’ve ever delivered!”

         He looked back up, a slight blush covering his pale cheeks. “It’s the truth. I’m just copying down what I see. You’re a masterpiece all on your own.”

         “Oh, Steve. You’re so sweet to me. Am I allowed to hug the artist, or do I have to keep my pose?”

         “You’re more than allowed; you’re encouraged.”

         You sprang across the bench into his waiting arms with a little more momentum than you had planned, knocking him back so you were lying on top of him on the bench.

         “Oops, sorry.” You scrambled to sit back up. Bucky would not be pleased if he came back from training to find out that you had ruined both your and Steve’s reputations.

 

 

**Week Six**

         “Steve!” Your voice echoed through the apartment when you heard your front door open, making your way to the door immediately.

         He chuckled at your enthusiasm and took off his jacket to hang on the rack by the door. “Hey, Y/N. How’s my best girl today?”

         “Better now that you’re here.” You stood in front of him, hands behind your back, a smile on your face that wasn’t your usual I’m-happy-to-see-you smile.

         “What’s going on?”

         “I have a surprise. Do you want it before or after dinner?”

         “Is it good?”

         “Very.”

         “Then let’s have it.”

         “I was hoping you’d say that. Come on.” You took hold of his hand and dragged him into the living room. “Sit.” He obeyed and you turned to the desk in the corner. You turned back to him, waving an envelope in your hand. “Guess what I’ve got?”

         “Is that from Buck?”

         “You bet! Do you want to read it, or should I?” You sat next to him so he could see Bucky’s awful penmanship addressing the letter to you.

         “He wrote it to you, you probably should.”

         “You and I both know that on the inside it’s to both of us.”

         “Still.”

         “Fine. But I’m going to be comfortable while I read it.” You promptly turned your back to Steve and laid back, so your head was resting in his lap. “Is this okay? I can move if you’re uncomfortable or my head is too heavy?”

         “No, no, this is, um, this is fine. More than fine.” He smiled down at you and you giggled.

         “Good.” You opened the letter and held it so the light was on it enough to read.

 

         _Dear Y/N and Steve,_

 

         “- I told you -”

 

         _Basic is something else. There always so many guys around, no ladies to woo, and no dancing to be done._

_How’s the diner? You and Karen getting along alright now? No creepy guys hanging around? I can always ask for a furlough to come take care of my baby sister. Speaking of, how’s Steve treating you? I know I don’t really need to ask, but I’m going to any way. Part of my job. Reminder that that threat from the morning I left still stands, break her heart and I’m coming after you - that includes you getting into too many fights and making her worry too much._

_How are the fights going, by the way? Are you avoiding them, or has Y/N just taken my place of breaking them up? (She shouldn’t have to do that by the way, don’t do that to her.) Have you asked to sketch her yet? I know she’d love it._

_Oh, that reminds me - Y/N, remember that thing we were going to do? If you want to do it, since I’ll be at training during his actual birthday, you can go ahead. No need to wait on me._

_I miss you two. There isn’t much to tell you about other than push-ups, and running, and lots of sweating. Not really a ton of fun or news worthy stuff. The food isn’t as good as yours, Y/N. I miss your stuffed potatoes or whatever it is you call them. And your breakfast food. Honestly, I might miss the food more than the dancing and the women._

_Keep yourselves out of trouble. I’ll find out if you don’t, trust me. I have my ways._

_With lots of love,_

_Bucky_

 

         You smiled and folded the letter, slipping it back into it’s envelope before setting it safely on the coffee table. Steve had been absent-mindedly running his hand through your hair as you read; you found it incredibly soothing and you moved so your head was more solidly in his lap. He switched hands and you leaned into his touch.

         “He’ll find out because I’ll tell him about the fights, so you take his advice.”

         “He told you to stay out of trouble, too, doll.”

         “Yeah, but we all know it was primarily focused on you.” You raised an eyebrow in playful challenge.

         “Whatever you want to tell yourself to sleep at night.” Laughter erupted from his frame, shaking you, when he saw the look of feigned insult cross your face, stifled only because of the light smack you gave his thigh. “Sorry.”

         You shook your head sitting up. “No you aren’t.”

         “What was the thing? He was being very cryptic about it.”

         “Ummm…”

         “Y/N?”

         “It’s a surprise that we’ve been planning for a while, for your birthday. Since Bucky isn’t going to be here, and it was mostly his idea, I was going to wait until he got back and do something else for your birthday. But, I mean, it’s your birthday so you should get to decide, really.”

         “You really don’t need to do anything for it.”

         “Of course I do! Birthdays are exciting, and we might not get to celebrate properly for a while after this, war rations will kick up a notch soon. Got to get all the celebrating in while we can.”

         “Nothing big, then. Just something with the two of us?”

         “If that’s what the birthday boy wants. Surprise on your birthday, or wait for Bucky? Or, better phrased, how long can you stand knowing that there is a surprise waiting for you?”

         “Wait for Buck, since that was your original plan.”

         “You sure?”

         “Yep.”

 

 

**Week Eight**

         You had let yourself into Steve’s apartment with the spare key under the brick. If you were quiet enough then you could have breakfast just about finished by the time he woke up. It was Saturday, and July 4th, and Steve Roger’s birthday. He was turning twenty-three, and you were going to make sure that it was a great birthday.

         It was his first without Bucky there to celebrate it since his Mom had passed when he was eighteen, so you felt the pressure to make sure that he enjoyed every second of his day. You had planned to make him breakfast. You had a picnic lunch ready to go back in your apartment, a nice stroll through Central Park was a favourite of his. Supper was up to him, but you knew he’d want to do hotdogs before watching the fireworks over the river.

         You started the breakfast potatoes first, slipping them in the oven with a fair sprinkling of salt. Then the bacon. The sizzling would surely wake him if the smell didn’t. After a couple minutes, you heard shuffling coming from the bedroom and smiled. Time to start the eggs.

         Another minute and his bedroom door creaked open.

         A very groggy Steve called out, “hello?” and you could just picture his head half stuck into the hallway, wondering if he needed to grab the bat Bucky gave him for protection.

         “Good morning, birthday boy!”

         “Y/N?”

         “Yep. Used your spare key to get in. Breakfast is almost ready so put some pants on and come eat!”

         Not two minutes later you heard his soft padding coming down the hall. Still in sock feet. He emerged around the corner and you broke into a wide grin. He still had the foggy haze of sleep covering his face, and his hair was a mess, but he was grinning, and allowed you to steer him into a seat at the table. You placed his breakfast in front of him and burst into song, complete with dramatic hand gestures, and a grand finale - a very strong kiss on the mouth. He moaned at the way you held his face in your hands and titled it the way you wanted it, fingers stretching back to play with the hair along the back of his neck. You took the opportunity to slip your tongue inside his mouth (you were very happy to find that he had in fact brushed his teeth before he came out). He kissed back eagerly, but let you do as you pleased. As you pulled back, you nipped at his bottom lip very lightly. His eyes followed your lips. After a kiss like that, he noticed, you always bit your lip - like you did when you were concentrating on something, it made him want to kiss you again, but you whispered “happy birthday, Steve,” and straightened to get him a drink.

         “Doll, you shouldn’t have.”

         “I wanted to, Steve. You deserve to have a great birthday.” You set a glass of orange juice down in front of him.

         “Thank you.” He leaned up and gave you another kiss, this one a much gentler peck on the cheek.

         You ate breakfast together and you told him what you had planned for the day - making sure he understood that he could change whatever he wanted, it was his day after all. He promised you that you had a wonderful plan, and that the only thing he really wanted was to spend the day with you, which made you smile and look down into your plate because honestly, this man was _too much_ , and also absolutely perfect. Bucky would be so proud of Steve, but also amused at how easily a man you’d known your whole life got to you.

        

 

**Week Ten**

         The creaking of the door should have alerted you, but you were too lost in your head to notice it. Your head throbbed, you could barely breathe, and your throat was sore. As you sniffled you could feel the puffiness of your face and knew that you must be beyond splotchy by this point. It had been close to an hour already, but you just couldn’t stop. The semi-dry tear tracks made your face feel stiff, but you didn’t care enough to do anything about it, so you buried your head deeper into the couch and let a few more tears lack out, partially absorbed by the couch cushion.

         “Y/N!” Silence. “Y/N?” Soft footsteps wandering through the apartment, further away into the kitchen, backtracking a few steps into the hall. “Where are you, doll?” Closer and closer until, “Oh, Y/N, oh no, honey. Have you been crying? What's wrong?"

         You shook your head. You didn’t trust your ability to speak just yet.

         “Come on, sit up for me. Just for a second, I promise.”

         You did as he asked. As soon as you did, he sat down where your face had just been and pulled you into him. You shuffled around a bit until you settled comfortably against him, legs thrown over his lap, arms around his neck, head resting on his shoulder, as his arms wrapped around your back and waist, holding you to him. He rubbed your back gently, as a few more sobs wracked through your body. There weren’t many tears left to shed, and you felt so tired, your head and body ached beyond belief.

         After a few minutes of silence, Steve put one hand on the side of your face and pushed ever so gingerly to coax you to look up at him. His eyes locked with yours, and you couldn’t look away. They always captivated you, because Steve, almost more than anyone you’d ever met, expressed so much through the way he looked at you. You saw the question, and the hesitation, and the general message, to talk about it when you were ready.

         “Honey?”

         “I just - oh, Steve.” Your voice croaked as you tried to explain and you shook your head, tears hot and stinging your eyes once again. You buried your head in his shoulder as you tried to find the words to explain it to him. The salt water dripped onto his collar and he felt it soak into the fabric. _What I would give to make her smile. She shouldn’t ever have a reason to cry._ He rubbed your back again.

         “It’s alright. Take your time. I’m in no rush. Just breathe, and everything will be alright.”

         You took a couple deep breaths and looked back up at your Steve. “Logically speaking, I knew about this - saw it coming from a mile away, but it just hit me that, in couple weeks, Bucky will graduate from Basic, and it won’t be long after that till he’ll get his orders, and then, then he’ll be sent off to Heaven only knows where - and with that boy’s luck it’ll be the most dangerous part of Europe, and Steve, I just, I don’t know if I can handle it.”

         He carded a hand through your hair, knowing that the feeling of his short fingernails scratching against your scalp relaxed you. Your shoulder and back muscles felt a little looser and you let your head fall to the side to rest against the back of the couch. “I know you’re scared for him, I am, too, but you know Bucky. Nothing can stop him.”

         “Nothing. Except for bullets, and Nazis, and bombs, and land mines, and disease - diseases and illness usually cause more death in wars than ammunition, Steve. He’ll probably catch pneumonia or the flu or something and die of that!”

         “Y/N, it’s okay. They could have him pushing paper work, or driving a supply truck, he might not be in heavy fighting.”

         “He was 1A, Steve. They’ll put him with infantry and you know it. He’ll see combat before his 25th birthday.”

         Steve held back a sigh. Years of personal experience and Bucky’s complaining reminded him that he was dating a complete and total worry wart. _She’s always worried too much. It’s part of who she is, because she cares so much._ Steve’s heart bled for your pain, but a small part of him smiled, seeing just how big your heart was, how much thought you put in to worrying about your brother before he was ever in danger. “You know, Mama would say that you’re ‘borrowing trouble,’ and she’d tell you to cut it out.”

         You smiled. Sarah Rogers had been one of the smartest and most patient women you’d ever had the pleasure to meet. Every time you saw her it seemed like she was passing on a tie bit of wisdom. “Borrowing trouble” was something she had chastised you for many times, but even she admitted that when it came to her son and his best friend, that it was an easy thing to do.

         “I’m pretty sure she’d understand this time, but you’re probably right. Might as well wait until he gets his orders to have a melt down.”

         “Do you want some tea? Would that help?” Instead of a ‘no, thank you,’ or a ‘yes, please,’ he was answered with your grip tightening around his neck and shoulders, and your body pressing more firmly against his. He let out a breathy chuckle. “Alright. We can cuddle here for as long as you want, just let me re-adjust?”

         You nodded and scooted off of him. He put a pillow against the arm rest of the couch and leaned back against it; kicking his shoes off, he stretched out on the couch and held his arms out to you. “Come on, honey.”

         You were in his arms in a second, settling against his side, hands clinging to his shirt, probably causing a lot of wrinkles. He placed one arm around your shoulders, and the other on the back of your neck, playing with your hair. his scent was familiar, his body was warm, and his mere presence was enough to calm you.

         “Everything will be okay. I promise.” His whispered comfort made you smile and cuddle deeper into his side. He kissed your forehead and before you knew it, you were sleeping soundly, with Steve keeping all the bad thoughts and dreams at bay.

 

 

**Week 13**

         You were at work, Steve was trying to keep himself entertained. Bucky was due back any day now, but with the way trains were running, it was a guess as to when that would be. He said he had big news, which made you both excited and nervous. You had picked up some extra shift because you could not handle sitting at home thinking about it, even with Steve to comfort you.

         That’s how Steve found himself sitting in a movie theater, telling some jerk to shut up when he started yelling at a commercial about the American Military. That’s how Steve wound up in an alley way, again, with a guy twice his size, again, using a trash can lid as a shield. That’s how Bucky found Steve and realized that nothing at all had changed since he went away.

        

         You jumped into Bucky’s arms when you saw him at the diner. He and Steve walked in and you said over your shoulder “Pick a seat, I’ll be right over,” as you finished jotting down a man’s pie order and refilled his coffee. You returned the coffee pot to it’s place behind the counter and glanced around to see what new customer had walked in.Your eyes fell on Steve, sitting in a booth, facing you and you smiled, then you noticed the man sitting across from him, with his back turned - it couldn’t be, could it? Steve mumbled something as you walked over.

         Bucky looked up at you and grinned from ear to ear when you got close enough and said his full name. He stood and you hugged him tightly, lifting your feet off the ground when he made to spin you around.

         “James Buchanan Barnes! When did you get back?”

         “just long enough ago to get Steve out of fight and make my way here.”

         “So like five minutes.” You sent Steve a glare and he shrugged. “I thought we had a deal?”

         “It was definitely a fight I wanted to pick. He was disrespecting the military.”

         “Fine. I won’t argue about this one.”

         Bucky looked between you two, his sister and his best friend. “Look at you two! Having adult discussions like our parents, coming to compromises. It’s disgusting. Just promise you won’t kiss in front of me?”

         “The big brave soldier can’t handle a little smooch?” You leaned down and gave Steve a peck on the cheek and you both laughed at the fake retching noises that Bucky made.

         “Come on, I talked to your manager, he’s letting you have the rest of the day and tomorrow off.”

         With a quick “goodbye, Bucky’s finally back!” to the girls and the cook, you ran out the door, one arm looped with Steve’s, the other looped with Bucky’s. You headed back home, so you could change and give Steve his surprise before going “to the future.” Bucky told you about his orders and you told him how proud you were of him and how he better be careful, and everything else you were supposed to tell a soldier to make him feel good before he left, even though you really wanted to tie him to a chair and tell the army to fuck off and find another Sergeant to put in the 107th.

         You changed quickly and on your way back to the living room, ducked in Bucky’s bedroom to get Steve’s surprise out from under his bed. It was wrapped as neatly as you could manage, which wasn’t saying much, but the bow on top was really nice, if you did say so yourself.

         “He wanted to wait till you got back.” Bucky’s raised eyebrow lowered and he nodded in understanding.

         “It might be too hyped up by now.”

         “Probably.” You handed the package to Steve and sat beside him on the couch, Bucky moved and sat on Steve’s other side. “It isn’t all that much, really, but you’re always so great to us, and we wanted to get you something that shows that we notice and we appreciate it, and that we care about you, too.”

         “Guys, you really didn’t - “

         “Don’t finish that sentence after all the mushy stuff Y/N just said. Just say thank you and open the present, twerp.”

         “Hey! Only I get to call him that!”

         “Open the present, Steve.”

         You glared at Bucky and stuck your tongue out at him over Steve’s head before watching him open the small package. You heard him suck in a breath at the pencils and pad he saw. It was bonafide sketching paper, with a new pack of pencils/pens.

         “The guy at the store said those pencils and pens would work better for sketching. Less likely to smear.” Bucky said.

         “And the paper is supposed to be smoother so you lines don’t get messed up.” You smiled at the way he kept staring down at the package, blinking rapidly.

         “Guys, I appreciate this so much. Thank you. But you really shouldn’t have. I mean this must have been - “

         “Worth it to see the look on your face. You love drawing, Steve, and you never splurge on yourself, so it’s up to us to do it for you.” Bucky’s words did not bring tears to your eyes. Not at all. And one or two did not slip down your cheek when they hugged. And you did not sleep Bucky’s arm for laughing at you behind Steve’s back as he hugged you.

         “Don’t move.” Steve stood and went into Bucky’s room.

         “You better not be messing in the third drawer again, Steve.”

         “There’s nothing in there to mess with anymore.”

         “What?”

         “I was cleaning so your room would get mouldy and gross and there were some socks left out. I went to put them up and accidentally found your little stash which is no longer existent.”

         “This is why I hide stuff from you.”

         “I’m not having that in this apartment! Mama didn’t, and I won’t either.”

         “I leave the room for two seconds and you’re already fighting. Geez guys, and you act like I’m the one that has a problem.” Steve had his hands behind his back, a nervous smile on his face. “When this one,” he jerked his head towards you, “picks up extra shifts I don’t have a ton to do, so I made these for you both.” He handed you each a piece of paper, folded once in the middle.

         You recognised the paper, it was what he had been using to draw on, after he made a rough sketch in his little notebook. You glanced at Bucky who was looking back at you, the knowing gleam in his eyes. He recognised it, too. You unfolded yours. It was unbelievable. Steve had let you see what he had sketched in his notebook, but never his final work. It was you and Bucky, sitting at the breakfast table. Bucky was mid-laugh and you were smiling widely, hair messy from sleep. The background showed the mess from fixing breakfast, and the sun streaming in through the window. There was so much detail in the clothes, the setting, he must have copied every detail from the dining area over and over again to get it so perfect. Nope, those were not tears in your eyes. Not at all.

         Bucky leaned across the couch to get a look at yours. “Damn.” He held his out for you to see. It was the three of you in the living room. Bucky and Steve were on the couch, smiling and watching you intently, you were propped against Bucky’s legs with a book your hand. It looked like you were reading out loud to them, then you noticed the title, _The Hobbit_. You had seen it in a store and, with some money you had been saving for a night out, got it because there was a dragon on the cover. You had read a chapter out loud every night for three weeks. It had become everyone’s favourite book, and one of your favourite memories.

         “Steve, these are amazing.”

         “I just figured, we don’t have many pictures of us, and you both might want something to look at while Buck’s deployed. That’s why I’m not in yours. You’ll still get to see a lot of me.”

         You set your picture down and stood to hug Steve close to you. Nope. Not crying. Bucky joined in. Nope. Group hugging did not make this more emotional for you.

         “Y/N,” your brother said when you broke the hug, “you suck at emotions. What’s with all the crying?”

         “I’m not crying. You’re crying.” The men chuckled and you dabbed at your eyes. “And if I suddenly experience more emotions than I used to, it’s because of the two of you. I blame you both. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fix my eye make up and we can go into ‘the future,’ science nerd.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another, final, part will come soon. I already know what's going to happen, just have to find the time to write it!
> 
> Thank you for all the great feedback and the interest in this story! Sorry this is so long,I started typing and my brain ran away with this...


	3. Still My Girl?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky deploys, Steve tells you he's in the army now, and you're left to prove to yourself that you can handle this.
> 
> (Happy ending.)

          “Steve, what are you doing?”

         “You know what I’m doing, Y/N.”

         “Trying to get arrested?”

         “Not you, too.” Steve was trying not to groan at you, to hide irritation he felt at your worry, but he was not very good at it. He’d just had this conversation with one Barnes, he didn’t need to have it with another.

         “Look, I get it. This is something you’re passionate about, but you can’t keep lying to try to get in to the army. One day they will find out.”

         “Because you’ll tell them? Like you tell Buck about my fights?”

         “I’ve never once told him about a single fight. I threaten to so that maybe you’ll make a smart decision to not get into them, not that it ever works.” You pressed your lips into a thing line and bit down hard. You were not going to lose your temper and you were not going to cry. This was not the time or the place for that. “I’m not like you and Bucky. I’m not brave and selfless. I’m the most selfish person I know because I want you to stay here with me. I want Bucky to stay, but there’s nothing I can do about that. And I can’t really do anything but ask you not to. Don’t leave me alone here, Steve. I barely made it through Bucky’s training with you holding my hand the entire time. What happens if they accept you this time? What happens when you’re deployed and I spend every second wondering if the two people that matter most to me are going to come home? I’m selfish, Steve, and I want to keep you to myself. I don’t want the army to get a hold of you.” Tears were welling up in your eyes and you wiped them away, mad at yourself for not being able to control them. You never used to cry before these two decided they wanted to play soldier.

         “Y/N,” Steve reached for your hand, expecting you to pull away, but you didn’t, “doll, I have to do this.”

         “I know you do. Which is why I’m awful for begging you not to. I should be supporting my fella.”

         “Chances are they won’t even take me.”

         You glanced around the room. There was a woman congratulating a young man on being approved. She looked so happy as she told him how handsome he was going to look in uniform. Steve deserved someone that could be that happy for him. You sucked in a sharp breath and smiled as you exhaled. “I’m rootin’ for ya, Steve.” You gave him a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

         He smiled back, but it was obvious that he realized that while you were trying to be supportive, you still thought the entire thing was beyond stupid. You hoped he at least appreciated the effort.

         “You’re still coming over tonight, right? I think Bucky’s planning on spending the night playing games and telling stories. And he would hate it if you missed his going away breakfast.”

         “I’ll be there. I promise.”

         “Good, cause I’m cooking enough to feed half of Brooklyn, and if Bucky can’t pack it all away then we’ll have to.”

 

 

         Steve was on the quiet side when he came in that night. There was laughing and reminiscing, and Steve joined in, but it was like he wasn’t _really_ into it, just doing it for Bucky’s sake. At first you chalked it up to the fact that his best friend was being deployed, and he probably got denied again. He hadn’t said anything, so after a glance at Buck and his nod of confirmation, neither of you mentioned it.

         The next morning Steve was more lively. He helped you fix breakfast, and woke Bucky up with a pillow to the face. It almost like a normal morning, except your brother was in uniform, and instead of the three of you heading your separate ways for work, you took off together towards the train station.

         It was big ship out day, so the station was packed with soldiers and families saying goodbye. You found a little corner to stop in, and after a minute of standing around and looking at each other your brother shrugged as if it say “this is it, guys,” and pulled you both into a big group hug.

         When you separated, you took it upon yourself to say everything you knew your mother would have in this situation. “Be careful, and remember to write. Even if it’s just a ‘Hey Y/N. I’m alive. Love, Bucky.’ Don’t make me come over to Europe to track you down. You know I will.” You were smiling wide to hold back the tears. “I love you.”

         “I love you, too, kiddo. Take care of Steve. The punk never knows when to stop.” After one more hug, you stepped back so Steve and Bucky could have a moment.

         Bucky and Steve hugged and Buck took the opportunity to whisper in Steve’s ear. “I know you’re going to anyway, but take care of her, and take care of yourself.”

         “I knew I was forgetting to do something…”

         “Smartass.” They separated so they could look each other in the eye. “Now let me do my brotherly-slash-best-friend duties, will ya? Don’t let her sit at home and mope. And stop getting into fights. And most importantly, if anything happens to me-“

         “Don’t finish that sentence.”

         “Alright then. I’ll be back before you know it.”

         “You better.”

         With a tip of his hat and wave paired with his charming smile, Bucky was boarding the train. He stuck his head out the window and hollered an extra “love you, Y/N. Take care of her, Steve,” before the whistle blew and the train moved away. You waved until he was out of sight.

         Your boyfriend took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. He knew not to say anything. There weren’t words that could be said to comfort you at the moment, and even if there were, he was sure he wouldn’t know them. You intertwined your fingers as you walked back towards your part of town. Steve tugged you in the direction of his apartment and you understood that he was trying to protect you from how empty it would feel again.

        

 

         Settled in Steve’s apartment, the radio playing slow soft music in the background, you cuddled with Steve on the couch, like you had after he’d found you crying and you’d fallen asleep on his chest. It made you smile, knowing that Steve would always be there.

         “Y/N?”

         “Hmm?”

         “I need to tell you something.”

         “Okay?”

         “I mean, it’s really important.”

         You sat up and placed your feet on the floor, looking into Steve’s blue eyes as he did the same. “Is something wrong, Steve?”

         “No, it’s just… I didn’t want to say anything before Bucky left because I didn’t want him to worry. He needed to enjoy his last night before shipping out.”

         “You’re making me nervous, sweetie.”

         “Yeah, well, I just know that you probably aren’t going to be happy with me for not telling you, so I’m trying to make you see why I didn’t so maybe you won’t be so mad when I tell you.”

         “Does this have anything to do with you trying to enlist again last night?”

         He glanced down at his lap. The amount of resistance you used to not groan out ‘Steeeeve’ followed by a long tirade about how he needed to not enlist amazed you.

         “Dr. Erskine approved me.”

         “Who did what now?” Your jaw tightening with effort not to freak out.

         “Dr. Erskine, he’s giving me a chance, to make the world a better place.”

         “Alright.” Giving him a stoic blank look wasn’t what he needed, but you couldn’t give him the happiness that he deserved at the moment. Holding it together, not being mad, was the best you could do.

         “Alright?”

         “Alright. I understand why you didn’t tell me. I can’t say that I’m thrilled you’re in the army, but I wasn’t for James either.”

         “You don’t look like you’re alright, Y/N. I know you don’t think I should be in the army, and I know you think I’m abandoning you, but I promise I’m not.”

         “You’re doing what you think is right.” You wanted to be happy for Steve. You wanted to yell at Steve. You wanted to hunt down this doctor and chew him out for whatever faulty reasoning he had for allowing you colour-blind, hard of hearing, asthmatic boyfriend into the army. There were a lot of feelings you wanted to feel, but this was too much. Your brother was gone, your boyfriend was about to be gone, and even though Steve would surely have some time before Basic, it felt like you were losing them both that morning.

         “Y/N, I know I should have told you sooner, and I didn’t really think this through, but doll, please, talk to me?”

         “I - I don’t know what to say. I’m glad that you’re getting to do what you’ve been wanting; I’d be a horrible girlfriend if I wasn’t. I also want to remind you how dangerous war is, and how much I want you beside me, but I don’t want to guilt trip you. I want to know why, in the name of all things holy, that doctor cleared you, when even one thing on your medical chart would disqualify you. I want to convince you to stay. I want to drag Bucky back to talk some sense into you, even though it’ll never work, because then I’ll have you both in the same room where I know you’re safe. I want a lot of things, Steve. Like I said, I’m selfish.”

         “Y/N, I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you.”

         “That’s just it. You shouldn’t be apologising to me. I shouldn’t be doing anything that makes you more concerned about me than concerned about staying alive. I can and will survive. I know you can’t make many promises, but tell me that you will try your hardest to come back to me. Please.”

         “I- I’ll do my best.”

         “Okay. Now come here, soldier.” Your hand gripped his collar and yanked him to you. He jerked forward, arms landing on your shoulders so he didn’t fall face first into your chest. You dipped your head and kissed him soundly. You weren’t going to be mad, or sad, or absolutely lose and lock him the closet and tell the army he ran away (even though you kind of wanted to and might actually be able to do it), so you were going to pour every emotion into kissing him.

         He moved to tangle his hands in your hair and pull his body closer to yours. This wasn’t the first time you’d kissed like this, Steve was actually a rather physical person, despite what Bucky thought about his ‘perfect gentleman’ friend, but there was something different in the air now that you knew he was going to be leaving you soon. The way your tongue ran along his bottom lip made him moan and open his mouth to let his tongue taste yours. You let one of your hands move to his shoulder, the other fisted his shirt. What was new was how you were taking control: you were pushing him down onto his back, straddling his hips; you were letting your hands roam over his chest, reaching down and giving his rear a firm squeeze that made him buck his hips and emit a small yelp of surprise that had you giggling against his neck as you kissed your way down to his collar. You moved back to his mouth and swallowed his moan, letting out a small whine of your own when his hands gripped your hips tightly and pulled you firmly against him.

         When you heard him breathing quickly through his nose, you pulled away, intending to get his inhaler, but he held you in place. A shake of his head told you that he didn’t need it, he could get it under control. He held your hands and smiled at you.

         “I would have found a way into the army sooner if I knew you were going to kiss me like that - ow!” He rubbed his arm.

         “Too soon.”

 

 

         A week later you waited with Steve by the bus station where he would board for Basic. It had been a tough week. Steve had been trying his hardest to make you smile, and you were doing your damnedest to give him genuine one, and to keep your temper and sadness in check. The next twelve weeks were going to be Hell on Earth for you, but you knew your next several pay checks were going to look good if your over-working habits resurfaced.

         “I’ll write to you every week.”

         “You better, twerp. And take care of yourself. Soldiers aren’t always the nicest people for a lot of reasons. Don’t pick fights against the guys that you’ll be fighting with someday - kinda defeats the whole teamwork training thing they do.”

         He chuckled and held your hands in his. “I’ll miss you.”

         “I’ll miss you, too. Don’t forget about me when all the ladies start fawning over you when you’re in uniform.”

         “I’d never forget my best girl.” With a hug and soft kiss to your lips, he was on the bus. You waved to him once he got settled and he waved back.

         This time as the bus pulled away you were left standing alone.

 

 

         Steve did write to you, like he promised. His letters were full of hope and a little self pride. He could do a couple more push-ups than before, he was really good at keeping his bunk and locker in order, and he even got a flag down that no one else could. You always wrote back, told him how proud you were, and about work, and how Karen had taken to organising girls’ nights out, and you were planning on doing a girls’ night in and hosting it.

         Without your boys, you had to remember not to seclude yourself from the world, despite your introverted tendencies. Work was keeping you busy, and you told Karen “unless I’m sick, make sure to ask me if I’ve done something involving people at least once a week that doesn’t involve the diner,” to which she had readily agreed.

         You were fine for seven weeks. You were going out, hosting people at the apartment, and even making a little extra money by editing some stories for a woman before she sent them in to a publisher. You’d even gotten a letter from Bucky saying that they’d made it to camp and were as settled as they could get. You had written back immediately, wanting so badly to tell him about Steve, but your boyfriend had begged you not to, “I will tell him, just now isn’t the right time,” and you had agreed. He needed to be focused on the enemy in front of him. So instead you told Bucky about how you were keeping busy, and how maybe you would start writing your own stories to try to publish eventually. Everything was great.

         Then one week a letter didn’t come. They always came on Tuesday. Always. You tried to reason with yourself. It got lost in the mail; there was a delay; he just didn’t get it mailed in time; he was too tired to write. But then it was Saturday and still no letter arrived. Surely, if something had happened then you would have been informed by the army? Steve had told you that he had listed you and Bucky as his next of kin.

         Another week went by, then a third, and a fourth. By the fifth week you were no longer calm. You had told Karen about it and she tried to remind you that Basic is difficult and “he’s probably working so hard that he falls asleep before he can pick up his pencil,” but she never promised anything, and for that you were grateful. The next week he was due to graduate and you wondered if you would see him anytime soon. Bucky had been able to come home for a night. Steve would, too. Right?

         Wrong. You still hadn’t heard anything and it had been nearly two weeks since he should have graduated. It had been a full two months since you’d heard from Steve at all. Bucky had written again, asking after Steve. You hated lying to him, but you knew what it would do to him if you told him, “I have no idea. Steve ran off to join the army and disappeared.” Instead, you said that Steve was working really hard and taking extra hours like you had been doing and was pretty much working or sleeping - that had to be true enough with what he should have been doing in Basic, you told yourself to make yourself feel better about it.

         You were hurting, and trying not to think of all the reasons that Steve wouldn’t write to you. Most of them involved him deciding that he wanted a more supportive girlfriend, or suddenly women flocking around him because he was in uniform and they realized how cute he was. It had gotten to the point that you thought that the new propaganda guy, Captain America, even sounded a bit like Steve. He was coming to New York, for a war bonds promotion, and Karen wanted to make it part of girls’ night. Reluctantly, you went, and Karen managed to snag enough spots at the front for you, her, Stacy and Margaret.

         Everyone cheered when he came out on stage, and you clapped to be polite, even though you didn’t really feel like it. Cheering seemed a strange thing to do for a man in what looked like pajammas. His voice was nearly identical to Steve’s. Deep and soothing, but Steve had never tried to use it to command the attention of a room - maybe command a bully, but it wasn’t the same thing exactly, and that had never really worked. Up close, Captain America had beautiful eyes. They were the same captivating blue that Steve’s were - exactly the same, especially when they locked on yours from the stage. Captain America paused in his speech while he looked at you, and you wondered what it was that threw him off so much. You shook your head to clear your thoughts once he snapped back into the skit. “It’s not him. That’s impossible.” Coaching yourself again. If only it worked.

 

 

         After the show, you were about to leave when a man in a suit stopped you. “Captain America wants to speak with you, ma’am.”

         “Yeah, right.”

         “He said you’d say that. He sent this to convince you.” This felt like the plot to every book that ended with the girl kidnapped. The man held out a slip of paper and the girls watched you carefully as your face went blank. Karen’s eyes widened and asked if you were alright, and “do we need to tell this guy to get lost?”

         You insisted you were fine, and that you’d see them at work tomorrow, before waving them off and following the stranger in the suit backstage to a hall lined with dressing rooms. It was Steve’s handwriting saying, “please, let me explain,” and a hastily drawn sketch of the desk in your living room - rough, but easily recognisable. He knocked on a door and was told by a very familiar voice “it’s open.”

         “Go on in, ma’am. I doubt I’m welcome for this conversation.”

         You opened the door slowly, eyes closed, holding your breath. When the door was fully open you stepped inside and cracked an eye open, glancing at the man before letting your eyes open to take him in, and slamming the door shut. There was a very tall, very muscular Steve in front of you, still wearing the costume, sans mask, offering you a nervous smile. You felt your jaw hanging loose and faintly heard your mother complaining about catching flies; you snapped it shut.

         “You came. Thank you.” He sounded relieved. But that was only because he had no idea what was in store for him.

         “Steve?”

         “Hey, sweetie.”

         “Sweetie? You disappear for over two months and you call me sweetie? You don’t even look like you. What the hell did you do? Suddenly you’re tall and muscle-y, and you’re wearing pajammas on stage? What. The. Hell?” You weren’t yelling, your voice was tense, and dropped to a whisper.

         The venom that he heard made him cringe, and wiped the smile right off his face. His shoulders sagged and he let his head drop. He should have known it wouldn’t be easy. Should have expected you to sound as hurt as you did. He would have felt the same if you’d disappeared on him for a few months, too.

         “What do you want an answer to first?”

         You crossed your arms and spread you legs. “Why do you think you can call me ‘sweetie’ after you disappeared like that? I’ve been worried sick, you jackass.”

         “I was sort of hoping that you still liked me enough? Sit down, and I promise I’ll explain everything.”

         You obliged and he told you everything. The serum, the effects, the reason why he agreed, the inability to write because of the contract, the tights. At the end of it all you sat in silence, trying to take it all in and try to understand why your little Steve agreed to be a lab rat.

         “I just wanted to be able to do good, and make you proud.”

         “I was already proud of you, doofus.”

         “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I had you keep this from Bucky.”

         “I forgive you for the Bucky thing, it wasn’t my place to tell him - but the other is going to take some work. Because not only did you lie to me, you lied to him.”

         “Are you still my girl?”        

         You looked at him, sitting beside you, elbows resting on his knees, shoulders hunched, looking up at you with those damn eyes of his. A bit of his blonde hair was falling down in his eyes and it made you smile - just a little, and on the inside. He as still very much your little Steve in a bigger body. You breathed deeply as you looked at him, trying to hold off on giving your answer. He needed to sweat a bit before you told him, after all he put you through. “Yes - but pull a stunt like that again, and I will not come back.”

         “Understood. Does that mean I can get a welcome home hug?”

         “If you asked nicely, you could probably even get a kiss, _Captain_.”

         “You’re going to have fun with that, aren’t you?”

         “You have no idea.”

 

 

         Steve was in New York for a few days while he prepped for an overseas tour - the U.S.O. wanted to boost the troops’ morale. You managed to get a fair amount of time off and demanded that it be spent lying on the couch cuddling. It wasn’t like it was before. There wasn’t enough space to be side-by-side anymore, so you were on top of him like he was a mattress, your hips between his knees, head resting on his stomach because “your chest is too muscle-y to make a good pillow, Steve.”

         “It used to be too boney, but that didn’t stop you.”

         “Just shut up and let me enjoy using your abs as a pillow.”

         He chuckled and ran a hand through your hair. “Yes, ma’am.”

         As his eyes closed, his mind drifted. He’d been an idiot for not telling you about the experiment sooner, and he knew that it hadn’t just been the Top Secret nature of it that had kept him quiet. If he were to admit it to himself, he’d been scared. Scared that you’d like him more now - sure, you’d liked him before, he knew that, but what if this body unlocked some deeper affection? Could he live knowing that this body made him more attractive to you? The fear had been unfounded and silly. He knew that you weren’t shallow, that you already cared about him for what really mattered, but it still made him nervous.

_“It is handy,” you had told him the night he’d come clean; he was helping you fix dinner, “that you can reach the stuff on the top shelf instead of me having to climb on a chair or the counter.”_

_“Is that it?”_

_“Is what it?”_

_“You see this,” he moved his hands up and down in front of himself, “as handy and nothing else?”_

_“Steve,” you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his tight little waist - not as little as it had been, but still little compared to his shoulders, “what you look like, how tall you are, I don’t care about that. I’m happy that you’re healthier now, that we don’t have to worry about a cold wind sending you to the hospital with the flu, and now, if you get into a fight, I’m probably not going to have to stitch you up. I’m glad that you’re happy. But the muscles, and the height, and Captain America’s reputation? None of those change how I feel about you. They don’t make me care about you any more than I did before, because I doubt that it’s possible to care more.”_

         He smiled at the memory and moved his hands to your waist to pull you up the length of his body so he could look into your eyes.

         “Hey! I thought we agreed that your stomach made a good pillow? What’s the big idea?” You propped yourself on your hands, one on either side of his head.

         “I wanted to look at you. I can’t do that if you’re way down there.”

         “I wanted a nap.”

         “Y/N, I was trying to be romantic.” His exaggerated whine made you giggled.

         “Well, don’t let me stop you.”

         “Get up for a sec.” He re-arranged the way you were situated so you were sitting beside him, slightly turned toward one another. Your knees brushed his and his smiled sweetly at you. He reached out to take your hand in his. When he brought it to his lips it was like your heart stopped for a moment. He kept his blue eyes fixed on yours, while his soft lips pressed a chaste kiss to the back of your hand, his thumb running a line back and forth over your knuckles. “Y/N, I should have told you this before I left, when you surprised me on my birthday, when you let me sketch you for the first time - I should have told you the second I realized; I love you, Y/N.”

         You blinked rapidly, a smile quickly growing. You gripped his hand tighter. “I love you, too, Steve.”

         “Really?”

         “Of course! I don’t break up fights for just anyone, you know.”

         The smile on his face made your heart ache with happiness. When he surged forward and kissed you, you didn’t hesitate to throw every ounce of yourself into it. One of his hands cupped your face, the other cradled the back of your neck. Yours looped under has arms and back up to his shoulders, occasionally reaching over to brush the hair along the back of his neck. It wasn’t really clear whether he pressed against you, pushing you back onto the couch, or if you leaned back and took him with you, or maybe a bit of both, but it was not long before he was hovering over you on the couch, lips making their way down your neck, hands on your hips, massaging you through your dress. You didn’t hold back your groan of approval when he pressed his hips into yours and nipped at the base of your throat, definitely leaving a mark. It was when he moved a hand to cup the back of your knee and slowly let it travel upward that you got a hold of yourself.

         “Steve, we can’t.”

         “Why not?” He berated himself for asking that; the whole reason he moved his hand slowly was so you could stop him whenever you wanted to.

         “Because you’re about to leave on tour, and I can’t bear to have you that _close_ and then you leave again. My heart can’t take it.”

         “Okay,” he lifted himself off of you and pulled you up with him, “no hanky-panky. Bucky would be relieved.” You snuggled into his side and let out a huff of air.

         “We just hard-core made out, and the first thing you think of when we don’t go all the way is my brother?”

         “I did promise him that I would take care of you.”

         “If you run into him while you’re over there, tell him I said ‘hi’ and he could write more often. And that it wasn’t my fault that he didn’t know about all of this,” you waved your hand in front of his chest, “and that if he does want to blame me, remind him that it’s basically impossible to keep you in check, and next time I’ll go off to war, and he can be in charge of you.”

         “You wanna write that down, or - wait a minute! He left you in charge of me?”

         “He left you in charge of me, too. It’s like he doesn’t trust us to take care of ourselves or something.”

         Steve just shook his head and looked at you, eyes filling with laughter that he didn’t verbalise. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. Your arms circled his back and you smiled against his chest.

         “I love you, Y/N.”

         “I love you, too, doofus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story (it turned out a lot longer than I ever intended it to!); I hoped you liked it. I appreciate all the sweet comments and kudos, especially since this was my first Marvel fic. If you would like to request something, or have an idea, please let me know (but you might have to be patient with seeing it published)!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! This was my first time writing Marvel, so I hope the characters felt right. Thank you for reading, and please kudos or comment if you liked it!


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